The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your
Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were
willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied
he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he
received a response of about 80 percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for
another 15 minutes and repeated his question. With all thoughts now on Sunday
dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear. "Mrs. Jones,
are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" asked the preacher. "I
don't have any." Said the old lady. "Mrs. Jones, that is very
unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety seven." "That is
incredible! Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how
a person can live to be 97, and not have an enemy in the world." The
little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around
and said: "It's easy, I just outlived the bastards."
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When
their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!” His
wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your
dinner!” Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how
to cook!”
Forgot His Prayers
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